That's what matters

Well, we had one of those blow ups at our house this week. The kind where everyone in the house gets mad and yells, you think the roof is gonna fall in, then it gets real quiet for awhile and everyone hides in their rooms. One by one each of us creep out and test the waters, sitting around not saying much, hoping no one remembers what took place.

Of course, this happened at a time where I have not been in a good place. I have not been patient lately. Heck, I haven't been patient for 37 years now.....

Anyway, Kathi and I talked and she really made sense to me. This should be one of the happiest times of our lives. Adoptions are final, she can stay home, Caitlyn doing good, getting a new deck and the room completed, we are healthy, etc... It is strange how we get use to our lives to the point we make up stresses and do not appreciate how lucky we are.

What really matters now is sitting with Stephen before bed outside looking at stars and making up stories, giving Chloe a bath and singing silly songs with her, Taking Caitlyn driving and looking at clothes online with her, waking up early to be with Kathi and talk, taking time each month to date my wonderful wife. Thats what really matters.

I read an article online that said "What you choose to do with your children today will be cherished lovingly for decades to come". If we parents are not careful that could say ". What you choose to do with your children today will be hated for decades to come". I have a choice and I want my kids to cherish memories of their dad for years to come. I have to choose to not let stress, pressures, and my baggage to get in the way. For some reason this is very hard for me but I have to remember what really matters....

When I think of this I look back on the memories of my parents and the good far outweigh the bad. I have memories of:

• Dad playing basketball when no other parents ever did
• Youth groups with my parents
• Working (not working) in the yard with dad
• Mom being silly
• Mom singing
• Playing in the pool with the whole family
• Driving to the store with dad
• My parents taking in people in need
• My parents accepting our friends, even when they really knew them..
• Dad and ping pong
• Some talks my parents had as I was older really stuck with my

Not much else to say except what really matters is what is in front of me when I come home from work and I need to somehow put all else aside when I step through that door....

Acceptance

I went to my weekly small group for church today and the lesson really hit me. If you do not know me, I like to win. When in a fight my initial reaction is to try and win, even if I am wrong.... So this lesson was hard for me, but I think it has helped. I will try to put it to practical use and see....

Acceptance is different then agreeing of someones action.

Our lives have been shaped by doses of rejection and acceptance and that we are far more open to the influences of people who accept us then those who lecture us.

When we struggle to accept, it is because we are holding to false standards.

When you focus on acceptance your mind does not focus on fighting to win the fight or prove a point. You can focus on the person.

Jesus did not come into this world to prove he was right. He came to accept us and show us by living a better way. This is the new lens we need to try and look through to live like him. If we can grasp a small fraction of this concept our relationships would be so much better. On the other hand, if everyone just agreeded with me, that would be easier :)

The Middle East

I have struggled with this issue for some time. Seems like the media, government, and all sides distort the truth to fit their needs. I found this interesting lesson on Sojourners that digs deeper into the cause of the issue and what we should do to fix it. Take the time to read it and post your thoughts. I had trouble printing it, so you may need to read online.

Christians and the middle east.

It's 1:35 AM

It has been a crazy week. I cannot remember a week so full of changes like this ever before.
We had a great time at Banner Elk with some family and friends, came back Monday and adopted our two new children, moved our oldest daughter to her new room, and put together a bunch of furniture. All this activity and the contractor is still building our deck and minor touch up to the room addition.


As I was putting together furniture my son had his tools and wanted to help. He talks a mile a minute and apparently I did not hide my frustration. As he approached me for the tenth time to convince me that he knew how to put together the bed.... I lost it. He looked at me and asked "Daddy, why are you so upset, what did I do". It was at that point I realized the stress of trying to make everything perfect for the kids really did not matter. They would rather me listen or play.

It is so hard to remember that. This is such a special time for us. Two wonderful children adopted and in a good home, so loving and fun. I am blessed to have them in my life and so overwhelmed with the grace my wife gives me for so many stupid actions...

Here are pictures of the remodeled garage, which is now the 4th bedroom